“I don’t even know, Carlisle.” The counterpart whispered, weeping. “I miss it. The classiness, the perfect English, the family-friendly atmosphere, the…”

“The praise-worthy morals and enlightening zingers!” Carlisle piped in.

“Exactly. By the way, blog readers, my name is Brad Whistlessly.”

“Who are you talking to?” the Carlislian man enquired.

“I was just thinking it would be a lot easier in this conversation if I had an actual name so Sam wouldn’t have to keep typing ‘the bus-riding counterpart’ over and over again. Do you understand now, Carlilse, dear friend?” Spake Brad Whistlessly unto Carlisle.

Carlisle was confused to say the least! However, before he could form a question with his oral cavity, a large-set, wealthy businessman entered the scene with quick footwork. He was a domineering figure. He wore an entirely snake skin suite/underwear combo, held a wolf-fur briefcase, and chewed whale blubber. He also had golden dollar signs nailed into the enamel of his teeth, so everyone he bit would have a dollar sign imprinted upon them. His coat had the name ‘Bennington McLardbelly’ branded into the collar.

“Top o’ the morn! What are you ugly *$#%@!ers talking about, eh, Captain?” Bennington asked gruffly.

Confused at being called ‘Captain’, neither Carlisle nor Brad responded. So Bennington left.

Then in walked in a golden-yellow lab. The dog was panting with massive amounts of saliva dripping from his gums.

“Whaddup y’all, my name be Corbin Ratwell!” the lab said bluntly. “Did I hear you talkin’ ’bout Sam Rodgers’ ol’ webspace?”

“Yeah!” Brad screamed. “Why doesn’t he update it as much anymore? I miss his angelic humor and untimely handsomeness!”

Corbin spit in Brad’s face angrily. “MAAAAAAAAAN! Why y’all gotta talk ’bout that jank!? It’s time to move AWN! Get a new life, you ain’t no bamf posers, crackers! You fool no one! Sam’s never comin’ back fer y’all!”

Carlisle sat quietly for 30 minutes. Darkness engulfed his every thought. He was in despair. “I believe in Sam. He’ll come back one day. Just watch, Corbin. Nothing can last forever, not even a hiatus. My first eight marriages taught me that.”

“That’s the spirit, Brad!” Carlisle whispered quickly five times. He then looked at his watch. “We’ve been here for eight hours. Did we miss the bus?”

SUDDENLY their bus sped by at 50 miles per hour without stopping. And to everyone’s amazement Keanu Reeves was driving it. They began to cheer! That is, until the bus sped out of view and the whole congregation of bus riders realized they were all actually part of an elaborate prologue segment to the 1994 hit action movie Speed. And everyone knows how that movie ends…

*Credits roll*

(20th Century Fox Home Entertainment absolutely probably did not endorse this)

While the above scene is fictitious, it represents a very real conversation that may be happening at bus stops the world over! Don’t worry, my hiatus of not posting more than my evil arch-nemesis Will McCarry is at an end! World domination is back! Horrah!

Happy Trails,
Sam.

1. Of all the concerts you’ve been to, which band played your favorite?

and

2. Where was the concert?

The survey is closed and the 29 responses have been plotted to a map on Google Earth. Check em out below:

As you can see, the responses ranged all across the United States, though mostly centralized to the east coast and especially to concerts located in Washington, D.C.

The favorite bands also varied greatly, with music from many different genres. The most popular bands answered were: Relient K (3), Jack’s Mannequin (2), Blink 182 (2), Animal Collective (2), and Switchfoot (2). Someone, I can only hope jokingly, put down Nickelback as their favorite band. Haha you are funny, whoever you are! Apparently someone has seen “Never been to one” up in Wisconsin, which is crazy, cause I didn’t know that they were still touring! Also I don’t know if Snoop Dogg performs in Alaska much, but it was an interesting response Thanks everyone for helping out!

Happy Trails and Namaste,
Sam.

Dear Reader,

What is this? A book? A code? A picture? A father? A fake? A clue? A test? A link? Or maybe just a friend. Why ‘Keep Hide – from a friend’? Will Michaels listen? Then again what do I know? I’m just the uploader, of course.

April 2009 is almost upon Samuel Michaels. This book may contain more than you know yet. If you are wondering, the papers do contain direct test results relating to Burke Pharmaceuticals and one “Cawley Tech”. I am in possession of a few scraps from this group of papers that weren’t destroyed. If able, I will post scans of what I have before the week ends…

Dear Reader,

Things not seem weird yet? Good. This is the last of the background you need to know. The next uploads are the ones which are in danger of being taken down by Burke. The book is introduced, the video seen, etc.

We see from the LOST reference in this vlog post that the video was originally filmed on March 19, 2009. If you don’t understand yet, wait for April. That’s all I can write at this time…

First up is a music video from a Russian singer made in the 80s. For the last year or so it’s been gaining a following of it’s own in the internet meme-sphere, and it’s starting to become the new sort of rickroll, and in my opinion it’s even better:

Wanna “trololo” somebody? Just link them to this site.

This second video I found on a graphics website I frequent and I just thought it was extremely cool. What if all the pixelated arcade video games we know and love were real? Find out:

PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. – Discover more animation and arts videos.

Until next time,
Sam.

I’m sure nearly every one of you who is reading this has heard of the little internet phenomenon known as “Chatroulette“. For those of you who don’t, Chatroulette is basically a website where you video chat with random people throughout the world. The site pairs you with someone, then you click “Next” to move on once you are either bored, confused, or (most likely) grossed out by the other person. It’s very popular among some colleges, 16 year old girls, Germans, and perverts. Most of you have also probably heard the stereotype that Chatroulette is filled with… well… genitalia. I’ve heard many people say it, my friend yesterday told me the site disturbed her, and Jim Groom even commented one class that he was amazed at how many naked people there are on the site. To be honest, I didn’t really believe it. I thought it was just another over generalization about a popular internet site. So of course I had to see for myself!

I can now confirm after using it myself very briefly that this stereotype is absolutely 100% true. Beyond that, I would strongly suggest that you don’t go check it out for yourself, unless you enjoy male genitalia being stuffed in your face literally every third click. Please take our and the rest of the internets’ word on this one. However, I seem to have done the impossible. I made a friend on Chatroulette. Yes. That’s right. I created a legitimate relationship with a normal human being on Chatroulette. In between all the awkward pervert-looking people, overly-contrasted faces in dark rooms, and guys “laying” on their beds, I ran into a really nice girl from Germany. And after a very lengthy translator-assisted conversation even agreed to friend eachother on Facebook. I feel like this should go down as a major turning point in the history of mankind or something.

This is proof that there is a small hope for decency on these mostly creeper-ridden chat websites that are becoming so popular. And I can’t help but hope that interactions such as these are what the sites were originally intended to create. We don’t live in a world where friendships are limited by how far we can walk in a day, we live in the modern age of internet and social media. Despite this hope, it seems as though the perverts will always overrun these sites. It’s because of them that you won’t ever see my face pop up on your Chatroulette screen again. Maybe if stronger blocking/reporting was added to the site. But I’m not gonna hold my breath.

Have any of you ever actually made a friend on Chatroulette or any site like it? I want to know! Leave a comment…



Happy Trails,

Sam.



Addition:
I should probably explain the stereotypes I mentioned earlier. Those being that Chatroulette is popular among 16 year old girls, Germans, and perverts. I say that because consistently I ran into 16 year old girls who said they lived Germany. I don’t know if I just happened to be placed on a server with a bunch of Germans or if Germans just love Chatroulette, but that’s what happened. Also every single German I saw was eating M&Ms. Dunno if it has any significance, but maybe we should add it to The Stereotype List. Oh and why did I say perverts? Well that one should be obvious.

Dear Reader,

It always starts off seeming normal. Whether you realize it now, this video is important to understand everything else that happened. I will be uploading the other important video blog posts in the coming weeks. These are RARE videos!

I am also in possession of some of the footage from Michaels’ personal DV camcorder showing everything he experienced after March 23, 2009. I will upload it soon as well. The DV footage (to my knowledge) has never been leaked online.

As you will be able to tell from the first video, an unidentified person will be uploading a series of videos to their account over the next few weeks. The videos are from a video blog series by “Samuel Michaels” (aka user newfoundmemories122) which was originally posted in early March 2009. These videos are only copies of the originals which “The Uploader” managed to saved before they were taken down. “The Uploader” is also somehow in possession of Michaels’s personal dv camcorder, and will be uploading videos from it as well.

These videos start off normal. But there is something weird about them, not the least of which being that the originals were taken down by direct request from a company named “Burke Pharmaceuticals”. Why would they take them down? What is it about Michaels which makes him so important? But I have already said too much…



More to come,

Sam.

Happy Trails,
Sam.